Pain to Piety
by waterbendergrl
Summary: Season 3. When Zuko joins the group, he is instantly met with bitterness, but from all the bitterness, can love form? Zutara. Zuko's POV. Rated for minor blood and later content.


Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the last airbender.

It was official, I was a dimwit. I ought to have organized how I executed it much further. What was I contemplating just strolling into the Avatar's campgrounds? I should have given a greater deal of deliberation. Did I genuinely consider I could walk into the Avatar's camp, say "I want to join you," and have them welcome me with open arms?

I glimpsed the surroundings and in each and every one of their eyes, even the blind girls; I merely witnessed unconditional hatred, their glower stinging like boarqupine spines. I peeked on all sides as all of them prepared themselves to assault me at any amiss move I made. How I wanted to leave right then, but I knew I couldn't. If I did I couldn't come back. I couldn't go back to my father or Azula. I could here her now. "Aw, what's the matter poor Zuzu, you need daddy. Or maybe you couldn't find mommy…" I shook my head snapping out of my thoughts as I glanced around seeing they were still looking at me. If I was lucky, maybe they would ask me why I was there.

I began to bring my hands behind my head to disarm myself but as soon as I moved, they attacked. The waterbender made a blade of water out of nowhere and swung it at me and I began to move back to dodge it. It missed me but sliced through my sheath holder causing my sheath to fall to the ground. I moved, almost instinctively, to get it but felt the ground begin to shift under me, as I fell backwards landing on my back and hitting my head against the hard rocky ground. Dirt flew up as it got in my eyes, nose, mouth and overall my face.

I felt earth surround my hands and feet as I started to squirm. _NO_. _Don't resist, they will think you are trying to fight._ I squinted to see where they were, glancing my head around. Suddenly, I heard a very familiar sound, like metal on metal, and saw two swords in front of me pointed directly at my throat. I moved my neck back, trying to get free of my cuffs.

"Oh no you don't." I heard a girl snap bitterly as a boot crushed my fingers and I bit my lip, refusing to cry in front of them. I glared in her direction to see her eyes filled with more hatred I'd seen in my whole life. She twisted her foot around on my fingers and with her other kicked dirt at me. I spat and choked trying to get the arid, filthy, dirt out of mouth, while peering from the dust and pebbles that were continually getting in my eyes. I began to turn my head when I felt something press against my neck and I remembered the boy.

I glared at him trying to look as angry as possible. "You wouldn't dare." I said through gritted teeth.

"Want to bet?" he said bringing the sword closer as it barely cut my neck and a warm sticky liquid oozed down my neck. I looked at him angrily as I realized that he could and probably would kill me.

Their travels had changed them. When I'd first met the Avatar, he was a goofy little boy who only thought about having fun. I looked at him now and saw not only anger but maturity in his eyes. I looked over at the girl and remembered what she'd been like the first time I met her. She'd been afraid of me just standing near her. She was small, weak, and innocent but all of the battles had changed that. All of the killing made her fierce, strong and a reasonably good opponent. Finally, I looked back up at her brother, a look of anger and determination planted on his face. He definitely wasn't the clumsy idiot I'd seem at the South Pole, or at least not as big an idiot. "A little ironic isn't it?" he said somewhat smirking. "Being _killed_ by _your _swords." My neck trembled from the sword being so dangerously close, just barely pricking my neck.

"What will you all gain from killing me, huh?" I said trying to defend myself. "My father already hates me; my sister thinks of me as a disgrace, not that…"

"What will we gain?" the girl interrupted holding back extreme anger and emotion. "Maybe revenge. Payback. One less annoying little firebender trying to _kill_ us!" She walked over and glared down at me, on the verge of erupting. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slit your throat open and kill you right now." she threatened making an ice blade.

"Because then the Avatar wouldn't have anyone to teach him firebending." I said somewhat smirking at her. She hissed at my somewhat smug look but didn't actually attack me. Then all their eyes went wide with shock. The blind girl came over to me and put her hand a few inches away from me as her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Guys," she said. "I know his sisters a good liar, but I think he's telling the truth."

"How can we trust him!" the water peasant exploded. "He said he'd help us in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se! But what did he do? He turned our back on us! How do we know his sister isn't hiding around here, waiting for us to let down our guard! How can we trust you!" She suddenly turned towards me with furious, weeping, blue eyes, tears streaming down her face. "How can we trust you!" she said bawled. "How can I trust you after you betrayed me! I trusted you!"

"Eh…" the Avatar said. "Katara, calm down." He came over to her and grabbed her arms, keeping them still. "I know your mad at him but we need to ask him some questions." She clenched her fist shut trying to control her ravenous anger.

"Alright." the Avatar said turning around to face me. "First, how _can_ we trust you?"

"Well I guess you guys will just have to." I said with annoyance and anger.

"Why would you be trying to help us?" the boy queried sliding the swords in the sheath and crossing his arms.

"I…" I began to say when I stopped to think. I couldn't tell them the truth. I would not degrade myself in front of the likes of them, even if I was joining them. I also couldn't say I'd realized what I'd been doing was wrong.

"Well?" the blind girl said impatiently. "We aint got all day."

"I…" I said degradingly knowing what I had to do. "I realized …that I've been… eh… wrong about… the Fire Nation."

"Dang." The blind girl said almost laughing. "He aint fibbing."

"So can you let me up now!" I grunted trying to break free.

"Alright." the Avatar said cautiously as he took the cuffs off my ankles and then wrists. I stood up as they all watched me cautiously and I dusted off my hair.

"Now give me my broadswords." I said reaching my hand out to the brother.

"I think I'll keep these right here." He smirked tapping them on his belt.

"Give me my broadswords _now_." I said clenching my fist.

"I'll give them to you when I trust you." he said sternly. Clenching my fists in frustration I stormed off not caring to look back at them. I sat down on a small patch of grass as I reached into my outfit and grabbed my bag out. I opened it up and glanced inside seeing some berries, nuts, and fire flakes remaining. My stomach growled as I took out a handful of leachy nuts. I looked at them a bit upset. "Well, at least it's food." I said as I picked one up. Right as I was going to put it in my mouth though, something flew by me and snatched it and the leachy nuts in my hand. "HEY!" I yelled as I saw that it was the Avatar's lemur. "Why you!"

I got up and began to storm over to it when it flew over to the Avatar and hid. "Get back here you little thief!" I roared storming over to the Avatar. The Avatar hugged his lemur protectively as he minor glared at me.

"Hand that little thief over to me!" I growled.

"You won't lay a finger on Momo." he defended smothering the creature.

"That little creature stole my lunch!" I snarled standing in front of him, glaring down at him.

"Momo didn't mean to get you mad." he said parentally. "Right Momo." The lemur made a chirp and hid inside the Avatar's shirt. "Besides, leachy nuts are his favorite."

"FINE!" I boomed. "Have my leachy nuts! You can eat everything in my bag if you want! See if I care!" I turned around and stormed off looking around for a nice secluded place. I walked a good ten minutes, going through the forest, and found a huge open field. I balled up my fists as fire licked at them and shouted into the air as deafeningly as possible. I began shooting fire in random directions, with anger coming out in every one of them. I blasted in every direction trying to release all my anger. 'I need Iroh.' I thought. 'He'd know what to say to me.' I clenched my teeth in anger as I sent some more fireballs flying. 'But thanks to me, now he's in prison.' "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" I hollered to no one in particular. I sat down and crossed my arms thinking of all the wrong things I'd done. "I can't make any friends. I don't know how to act with girls. No matter what someone is always telling me I'm doing something wrong, whether it's my dad, Azula, Uncle my enemies, or just random people! Why can't I do something right, for once!?" I screamed up into the air, shooting fire out of my mouth in rage. "You know what!" I screamed. "I quit! I give up! I'm not going to do anything! I'm just going to leave and live all alone for the rest of my life! Then I won't…"

"You can't leave." a young voice said. "You promised Aang you'd teach him firebending, and dag nab it that's what you're going to do." I turned around to see the earthbender standing a few feet away from me.

"I didn't actually mean it." I said angrily. "I was just angry, and I still sort of am."

"Because you messed up?" she said nonchalantly. "Big deal, no one's perfect. You think I never made a mistake. I've made tons of mistakes. But if I didn't, then I wouldn't learn and be like I am now. So quit feeling sorry for yourself and acting like a little kid and just suck it up."

I glared a little angrily at her clenching my fist to control my anger.

"Now come back," she commanded. "It's getting dark and we need a fire."

"Fine…" I grumbled angrily, following her. "Hey, if you're blind how do you know where were going?"

"I see with earthbending, dimwit." she said matter-of-factly. "And I can feel footsteps."

The rest of the way back both of us were quiet and by the time I got back it was almost pitch black.

"Took you long enough." the boy said sarcastically. "C'mon we're getting cold." I glared at him as I saw where they were attempting to make a fire.

"Here." I said. I brought back my right arm and focused my energy into my fist. I shot my fist forward and released fire onto their spot as I turned around to walk to the far edge of camp. "If it starts to die just swirl some air around it, it feeds off air." I walked to the far edge of camp as I watched them sit around their fire and talk, each one occasionally looking over at me. I couldn't hear what they were saying but by the sound of it they seemed happy. How the heck were the always so happy? I mean they were way outnumbered by the fire nation; they lost twice to the fire nation, they each had been hurt by the war. How in the world were they still cheerful all the time? Well not all the time. They were serious at some points. Like when in battle. I looked back over to them as I saw them each getting up and stretching as they began to walk over to their bison. I watched the Avatar jump up onto the bison's satel as he threw down what looked like sleeping bags. I watched them each lay out the sleeping bags as the Avatar began walking towards me.

"Time to go to bed." He instructed me as he threw me a tarp. "We don't have anymore sleeping bags so you'll have to use that."

"Alright." I said nonchalantly as I looked at the dirty tarp. I took it and shook it clean as I looked around for a large patch of grass.

"We're getting up at sunrise tomorrow." I said. "To begin your training." Just then I spotted a nice patch of grass near the fire as I walked over to it. I laid down and draped the tarp over me as I drifted off to sleep.


End file.
